Why books with vampires suck.

As you may already well know, I live in Romania and I am 100% Romanian. Although I hate this country for reasons I might cover in a later post, I also love some stuff about it. We have AMAZING castles. We have one that looks like Hogwarts!

Argue with me and I will end you. THIS IS HOGWARTS!

We have beautiful scenaries, but dumb politicians.

We also have a very used cultural icon.

Of course, he is Dracula, also known as a vampire. In novels, people often use vampires, or at least in some of them *cough*twilightthevampireacademyetc*cough* but they ALL use vampires the WRONG way! Vampires DON'T sparkle. They don't look GORGEOUS! They're mostly horrific creatures. Also, the are not, in any way, sorry to ruin this to all the girls, attracted to human girls for their soul or for their looks. They only want the blood.
Obviously, I am no expert in vampirology, but I do, indeed want to explain to you why the fuck Twilight is a really wrong book and far from the truth.
So, let's dive into the beginning of all this!
We were taught at school the followings: Vlad Țepeș, also called Vlad Dracula, who was one of Romanias' most famous voievodes, which is like a leader of Romania in the 15th century. Țepeș comes from the world țeapa which basically means a big wooden spike. And when he was the "captain" of the country, he used to put people who committed crimes into the big, ginormous, wooden spikes to punish them.
The vampire thing comes from the book called Dracula, which I have not read, by the Irish author Bram Stoker. In the book, the setting is in Transylvania and England. When he wrote the book he often visited the Royal Library in London, in which the books about Vlad Țepeș described him as a monster and as a blood sucking vampire. He probably also read History of Moldavia and Wallachia by Johann Christian Engel in which Vlad Țepeș is described as blood-shedding monster, thus the idea of the prince of Wallachia to be the main character, Dracula. Vlad Țepeș has absolutely nothing to do with Dracula, the character in Bram's novel.

Thus we end our journey into the depths of history!

A normal vampire would be "allergic" to garlic, crosses and sunlight. Unlike Twilight, it does not sparkle when experiencing sunlight. I have a question for you Stephanie Meyer, WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET THAT DUMB IDEA OF SPARKLING VAMPIRES?!?!?!

So, to sum it up, no, vampires do NOT sparkle, the do NOT fall in love with pewny, pittyful human girls, and the don't exist!

I hope I cleared everything up for you; if you have any doubts, please do check wikipedia. Seriously, people.

Goodbye,
J.